The Effects of Bullying (Anti-Bullying Week November 2022)
Introduction
Bullying, is a parent’s worst nightmare and something that happens all too often at school, online and in adulthood. No matter when, where or how it occurs, it can have a detrimental impact on an individual’s life and those close to them.
This blog highlights different aspects of bullying and is based on what happened to a 16-year-old girl named Roxy.
This is to help raise awareness of the ramifications this type of behaviour has on people’s lives. Together we can make a difference and change, by reaching out and taking action when needed.
If you know of a child who’s being bullied, let them know about this story, so we can give them hope.
Roxy’s Story
1. When did the bullying start?
My first-time experiencing bullying was in primary school I moved a lot due to moving houses, but my last primary was when it occurred the most. A boy in my class started calling me disgusting names and commenting on my weight, which then proceeded into physical bullying.
When I got into secondary school I got picked on a lot. They started by leaving me out at lunch and/or ignoring me, putting my bag in the bin and locking me out of the form room. Then in year 8 it got bad again. The girl started stabbing me with pencils and pens every time I said something she disagreed with or I didn’t agree with something she said. Then she started pushing me around and pulling me when ‘I was in the way’. In my last in that school, before I moved to a new school, she stood behind me and held a hockey stick up in the air, acting out hitting me on the head saying ‘I just wish I could. I want to you know’.
2. How did you know it was bullying?
At first, I didn’t know it was bullying I was always told I was just sensitive and it was because he had a crush on me but then he punched me multiple times in the arm one day on a weekend and after that he just kept tripping me up punching me calling me that’s when I knew that wasn’t right.
The secondary experiences were different I still don’t class certain things I experienced as ‘bullying’ as such more as teasing and being picked on, but I guess that still is bullying as it made me feel horrible.
3. How long did it go on for?
It went on for multiple years; in primary I experienced it for a year and in secondary it was on and off for 3 years.
4. When did you decide to tell someone about it?
I always told my mum about things, as we’ve always been close but some things, I didn’t tell her as I was afraid she’d think I was just being sensitive and it was just girls being girls, but then when I had enough, I told my mum everything.
5. How did it effect you?
It made my mental health very bad I’ve always experienced anxiety my whole life I’ve always been an anxious kid but this exclusion and physical harm made me not want to go into school, not wake up in the mornings. My heart raced like a car on a race track every morning and I felt alone like I had no true friends.
6. What advice would you give to anyone who is experiencing being bullied?
Although it may not feel or seem like it, it does get better little by little and trust me, I read that so many times thinking it won’t ok, it won’t and I just want it to end. It does get better, you just have to persevere and know your worth. It takes time and it’s hard, but it’s worth it in the end because you come out stronger.
7. What would you say to a bully?
I would say stop and think about what you’re doing. You may find this funny but others may not think that. Think about how you would truly feel if someone said something hurtful to you or do something hurtful to you and if you don’t like it or feel hurt, or sad, then don’t do it.
8. Where did the bullying take place?
In school, outside of school, in parks and sometimes online.
9. Would there be anything you would do differently, should it happen again?
In my situation telling a teacher made the situation worse. I'm not saying you shouldn’t tell a teacher about bullying but in my experience, it made it so much worse. So, I would’ve talked to people around me in my class form or in other groups. No matter how scary and daunting it is., talking to others helped so much because they had my back and helped me stand up to them and break away from the bully’s. I just wish I did it sooner. I ended up making new friends.
10. How has it impacted you as a person?
It’s made me stronger, I know my worth and I'm independent, but this came over time and the bullying did leave me with scars. I became very anxious and sad and sometimes I still get like that; certain jokes come back to me and I start to over think but I don’t let it control me, that it’s okay to have days like that now every so often.
11. What happened as a result of you being bullied, did you move school, did it effect your confidence etc?
For primary I didn’t move schools as it was my last year and I had already moved, but in secondary I moved school at the end of my third year and it did shatter me, my confidence, personality and mental health. I struggled ALOT my grades started slipping and I stopped going to school and being happy and being with my family. I was not myself.
This is more something to the bullies, you never know what anyone is going through; throughout these years of bullying I was also experiencing other things that made it 10x worse, which is why everything hurt me so much because it was everything piling up together.
But also, to anyone who is getting bullied it’s not you, it’s them you are perfect, amazing, talented in your own way. Just be the strong amazing person you are because you are trust me, I was at my weakest and I made it out stronger and you’ll be okay.
How hypnotherapy can help
Bullying can have a detrimental effect on a person’s mental health, and can take its toll in physical ways too. Our mind and body are connected and if it means that we want to avoid something in order to remain protected, our subconscious mind will create psychosomatic symptoms as a result. This can range from panic attacks, nauseous sensations, headaches, anything that enables us to remain safe in our homes where we will not have to face the taunt of being bullied.
Roxy experienced being bullied for 3 years, which created a lot of issues for her mental state, leading to intrusive thoughts, bodily sensations such as her racing heart all because of the fear that was created. Anxiety has been the biggest impact for Roxy, but know this, anxiety is a cause of all the things that have happened to her as a result of the bullying, so when she experiences anything that resembles that time of her life, a trigger will create an alarm in her subconscious that will cause it to react by having; ruminating thoughts, sleepless nights, moments of anxiety. You can take back control of your life and not be plagued with anxiety and this can all be done with hypnotherapy.
So, how can hypnotherapy help? Well, it cannot change the past, but it can help to shape your future and support the process of improving confidence, self-esteem levels, anxiety and reframing negative thoughts.
Adults in later life can be affected by the childhood trauma of bullying and this can manifest into a lack of confidence, avoiding social situations (social anxiety), becoming easily embarrassed in front of people or in public and more. If a trauma has been repressed, then something in later life may trigger anxiety later in life. Everyone’s story of how they behave as a result of bullying will present differently.
What all clients must be aware of when it comes to treatment is it’s a process, which requires homework to be completed in between sessions, allowing the subconscious and conscious mind to be in harmony and know that all is well. There will be no need to have panic attacks anymore, or palpitations or however bullying has affected you.
If you are ready to make changes to your life today because bullying has or is affecting you, reach out today.
Love and light,
Clare x